Rethinking “Confidence” – Is It Still About Being Loud, Sure, or Right?
The Hidden Baggage of the Word “Confidence”
We often admire confident people.
We’re told to build confidence.
To fake it.
To show it.
To own the room.
But there’s a problem underneath all the posturing:
- Confidence is mistaken for charisma: loud = confident.
- It’s seen as certainty: confident people “never doubt.”
- It becomes performance: a mask for fear, not a reflection of truth.
- It creates shame: if I don’t feel confident, I must be failing.
The result? People either fake confidence until they burn out…
Or wait for it until they miss the moment.
A Reframe: Confidence as Courage with Practice
What if confidence wasn’t about being right or fearless?
What if it meant:
“The willingness to show up, grounded in preparation—and open to growth.”
That kind of confidence is:
- Quiet but unshakable
- Rooted in doing the work, not needing the spotlight
- Built over time—not gifted at birth
- Willing to listen and still lead
The TRP Take
At The Revamp Project, we define confidence not as certainty but as stability in motion.
Where ego says:
“Look at me.”
True confidence says:
“I’ve done the work. I’m here to serve.”
Where ego resists correction, confidence welcomes refinement.
So here’s a possible reframe:
“Confidence is not the absence of doubt.
It is the ability to move with it—and not be owned by it.”
Confidence is how you guide the ego, not silence it.
It’s the anchor beneath your voice—not the volume of it.
Reflection Prompts
Explore your true source of confidence with these questions:
- What does confidence feel like in my body—calm or tense?
- In what ways might I have mistaken confidence for performance or control?
- What practices help me build confidence instead of just projecting it?
- How can I model confidence without overshadowing others?
- What area of my life is calling for quiet confidence—not noise?
Want to Go Deeper?
The difference between ego and confidence is the difference between noise and resonance. Learn to build the latter, and your leadership deepens.
Recommended:
- Podcast Episode: Rethinking Ego – Is It Still About Arrogance and Self-Importance?
- Ego ➝ Confidence ➝ Humility